Dedicated To The Blackman

Untitled

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:54:47 +0000

A moment between my thighs
May make you feel alive
But it won..t stimulate my mind
It will just be passing time
Which would still be passing by
But if you could truly spark a thought
I may reach inside your heart
And see what you really are
Help you heal your scars
Remind you
Of the beauty of your blackness
The depth of your soul
You could remind me I am more than just my body
We could make each other whole
I could reawaken your mind
We could take a trip back in time
To a place where we had knowledge of ourselves
When I was yours
And you were mine.

A Dedication to my son

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:53:50 +0000

Your are perfection
Complete in every way
From the dark curls on your little head
To the fingers on your tiny hands
I am breathless watching you breathe
Holding a little God
I am blessed
So unworthy to be your mother
Hoping to one day be
Wondering if I am strong enough
To teach you what you need to know
To love you and one day let you fly
Thinking of what the world will try to do to you
Brings a tear to my eyes
But I know I must be strong inside
And protect you all of your days
For I have a tough job ahead
I have a Black God to raise.

Karma

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:52:48 +0000

You say one thing and turn around and do another
I may not see but karma does and you get punished
And try to blame it all on me
The lies you tell are the only truth you be
But you are lying to yourself if you think I don’t see
I just lie in wait… and watch
I know a mistake you will make
Its cool cause you are only hurting yourself
No more of me will you take
Its karma baby and you’ve sealed your fate
You look so sweet on the outside
I mean good enough to eat
But in truth you are giving me cavities
You are really not a treat
Thank goodness I have had my fill
I don’t crave or desire more
Just wanted you to see
That I understand
The lies you tell are all you be
I am not afraid though cause I know
After all the good vibrations I’ve sent out
Karma is gonna be good to me
Karma is gonna be good to me.

The Death of a Dream

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:50:54 +0000

I was waiting by its death bed

knowing it was coming but hoping the end was not to be

and when it closed its eyes on me

I was lost and mourned so very deeply

Then I realized that I was free.

There were no flowers and no fanfare

My dream wouldn’t want that from me.

I held a private graveside service, a few words were spoken, I threw down a single white rose

and where I buried my beloved lifelong dream

a willow tree now grows.

Freedom…Aint’ Free

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:50:03 +0000

First formed by God
with gentle hands
re formed by man with hate in his plans
trying to break free
of a mold that no longer fits
so tired of being who I never was
I will die if I cannot be who
I know I am
no longer secondary an afterthought
self is now foremost in my forethought in my own mind
I saw myself in a bad dream
and I had to wake my self up
Blinding sun and pure water
washed off the dust
left by the men who’s hands tried in vain to recreate me into their own image
but the clay never hardened
and I stepped away from that ideal
into free form
weightless
reborn
smooth and polished from rubbing against stones
glowing black
snuffing out the lies that hide in the light
and finally
freedom
and sadly it wasn’t free.

Untitled

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:48:42 +0000

So lost
Hurting so bad
No way to express it
So deep
I cant share
Sinking deeper and deeper
Into the quicksand of despair
Struggling to not
let the darkness overtake me
holding on as tight as I can
knowing soon the light
will shine so bright I will have to shut my eyes
so sad that when I resurface
I will be a person so much removed
from who I used to be
but to ensure my survival I must
bury the weak sobbing shell
that used to be me

Truth Telling

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:47:42 +0000

Lied to about
Why and When
What, and Where
About love
and way life is
Lied to about myself
and my nature
lead to believe
everything about me was wrong
nothing was right
When you lied to
me about love
and life
you lied to yourself
hid the truth from your own soul
covered your own eyes and ears shutting out the truth
that I spoke in cries but never in anger
because I was so afraid
but
I tell the truth to myself now
and I know so much about me is right
exactly how it is supposed to me
I know life is more and it can be better
Love is pure, selfless, sacrificing and never dies
I tell the truth to own soul
Open my eyes to the truth you act out but don’t believe
I stopped waiting on you to be honest
with you and me
waiting for the day you stop lying to yourself
so we can both be free….and just tell the truth.

Hello Again?

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:46:49 +0000

How do I go back
to something I already thought I lost
How do I say hello
when my heart and mind said goodbye
How do I start over,
put down my guard and hope
when the fear of it all crashing down on me again
cripples me
keeps me silent
motionless
unable to stay or to go
how do I believe in my heart
what my eyes have not yet seen
what my mind cannot believe
how do I go back to something
I needed like the air I breathe
but could not have and
have learned to live without
ignoring the dull ache
left behind after letting go
How do I find the strength
to open the door
I slammed and locked behind me
to see you are standing there waiting for
me and say…hello.

NOT FOR SALE

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:45:13 +0000

Not for sale
not even to highest bidder
never will I compromise
all I am and will be
I am sufficient
My Creator said so
Not for sale
to you who try to buy my love with sweet words and manipulation
nor to you who tries to purchase my heart and soul with cash
Not for sale
When I love I give for free
Because I want to
Because I choose too
I am sufficient
My Creator says so
You think you made me but
My Creator formed me in my mothers womb
and told he he loves me above all things
and that all I need to be I already am
Not for sale
not even to the highest bidder
You don’t have to love me
that is your choice
You don’t have to respect me
that is your choice
I love and respect myself
more than you ever could and I choose
to do so
Nothing can you give me
That I do not already own
Nothing can you offer me
That I cannot get for myself
Don’t come to me with a promise
that requires me to sell my soul
or require I take a vow to forsake myself to have your love
because I already told you
I am not for sale
Not even to the highest bidder
If I had a price
you could never afford it
but I don’t because
I am sufficient
My Creator says so
and so do I.

UN Natural

dedicatedtotheblackman — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 08:42:39 +0000

don’t know up from down
right from wrong
love from indifference
everything is so unnatural
to pass like strangers
no embrace or kiss
to begin the day or say goodnight
empty conversation
skipping around the pain
knowing what used to be
is done and gone
trying to make the best of whats left
so unatural
to stand so close to you
and not touch you
to turn my back to the empty space
in my bed
and close my eyes without your
warmth behind me
so unnatural
to live as if I always alone
to afraid to make any plans
don’t want to move ahead without you
but knowing I must
its all so unnatural
I planned a forever
a life time
and now we have come
to months,
to weeks
to hours,
to minutes and seconds
so afraid to say goodbye
so unnatural
to not have you beside me
to pass like strangers
no embrace or kiss
to beging the day or say goodnight
empty conversation
skipping around the pain
knowing what used to be
is done and gone
trying to make the best of whats left
don’t know wrong from right
night from day
just knowing we have come to the end of this road
and now we have to walk alone
hoping our paths may cross again one day
and we fall into steps
that feel surprisingly natural
hoping our greetings turn to easy conversation
and laughing at secrets only we have shared
to have our seconds turn to minutes,
hours, weeks, months and years
to return to forever
to fall back into a lifetime
to look into your eyes
and smile at each other
thinking…this feels so natural